Phoenix
by Ziver69
Summary: Life is a cycle of endings and beginnings, but some things just never end. As the family, Bo and Nora, face one devastating ending in losing Asa, a new beginning rises out of the ashes like a Phoenix...if they'll just let it fly. AU.
1. Chapter 1

Well, it's been a very long time since I wrote any Bo and Nora, but thanks to some friends in the inspiration department ( I hope you know who you are) I'm dipping my toe with them on this site. So here we go on this our maiden voyage. Some things to note in starting; I'm playing fast and loose with the timeline and a little with characters, so if you read something and think, "Wait a minute, that's not how it happened, you're probably correct and that would be the fast and loose. Also, when I write the character of Clint Buchanan, I write it as I loved the character when he was played by the late, great Clint Ritchie (no offense Jerry, but that was not my Clint), so if it doesn't seem like the Clint everyone was used to at the end...that's because, in most ways, it's not. This is inspired by my need for all the reunions that didn't happen between them when they could have to be corrected and some people make amazing videos that inspire love, and fluffiness. If none of that sounds appealing to you, my friends, this is not the story for you. There will be times it may be unrealistic but, take it with a grain of salt and try to enjoy the ride. After all, I'm sure I'm going to have a ball writing this. Reviews are love so don't be shy but do please be courteous. Last note, this first part is based very closely on the actual scene and dialogue that happened on the show. Some sections will be taken directly from the dialogue and some will be summarized or totally me, but basically if you recognize it, it's not mine and belongs solely to the show. I do not own those parts and am not taking credit for it. If you recognize it, it's not mine.

 **PHOENIX**

Clint followed Bo at a distance, headed toward the stables, bourbon bottle swinging at his side. The Buchanan men were no strangers to the drink, and had a tendency to get behind the bottle a little too much at times, but Bo wasn't usually the one to be the first to jump on that particular horse.

His eyes cast about the stables. A little blurry and noticeably slower than usual, but he'd had a few more than normal much earlier than he typically would. Another hash mark on the board courtesy of Asa Jeb Stuart Buchanan. Bo unscrewed the cap and took another bracer. It wasn't good that the bourbon didn't burn going down anymore, but he didn't care. He wanted to be numb...mind, body and soul right now and he would drink until he got there. After all, Buchanans weren't quitters. He raised the bottle in silent bitter tribute to Asa and that's when his eyes landed on Asa's favorite hat.

It was hanging on a nail on one of the beams. Hanging where it always did, as if it were simply waiting for Asa to amble through the door and snatch it up before a ride like he'd done a thousand times before. But there would be no more rides. The old man was gone. Gone. That, Bo felt burn all the way down and it hurt like hell. He snatched the hat up, looked it over, sat in on a hale bale and he found a place to rest his bones.

The hurt bubbled up and he pushed it down. But it hit the pit of his stomach and rose like a bat out of hell against his will, and with his inability to control the hurt, came the anger. Why was it that the things that hurt the most, he could never control. Memories...memories he didn't want in his head...in his heart, they just stayed with him. Mostly dormant with the passing of time, but the big ones...the ones that he knew would never heal, those would spring back to life and rise again like a Phoenix from the ashes at a moments notice; a picture he wasn't expecting to see or a song he hadn't heard in forever...a smile that pushed so many good times to the forefront of his mind or her perfume when he was tired and not as much on guard. It was all always hanging there waiting to bite him with pain...Just. Like. That. Stupid. Hat. Bo lifted the bottle and toasted Asa bitterly before stumbling to his feet and retrieving that dusty, old hat. He turned it this way and that, memories floating through his mind...churning and that's when Clint appeared. He met Clint's eyes. Maybe it was the booze, maybe it was feeling vulnerable at being caught, amybe it was just...everything he wanted to change in that moment and couldn't, but the next thing either of them knew, Bo had flung that beloved, old Stetson to the ground.

"Is destroying Pa's favorite old hat going to do anything for anybody? Bo, what is the matter with you? Why are you so angry with Pa?"

Bo swallowed, tried to swallow around that lump lodged in his throat. How did you find the words to explain everything he was feeling when he didn't even want to be feeling them. His chest felt like someone had pried it apart, busted open and tight like he could hardly breath all at the same time. Half the things crushing him right now he couldn't even admit to himself...some Asa...some not Asa at all. Not knowing what to say, he moved to the stable entry and leaned against the frame. _Breathe, Bo. Just breathe._ He coached himself.

Clint hung Asa's hat back in it's place and went to Bo just as he swallowed another healthy mouthful. "You might want to take it easy on the bourbon."

"I got a good idea, big brother." Bo knew he was taking his anger out on the wrong man. Clint was only trying to look out for him, but everything was too raw...too bottled up and it needed to go somewhere. "Why don't you grieve your way and I'll grieve mine."

"You're not grieving. You're brooding. You have been ever since we got the news."

Oh, now that he really didn't want to hear. Bo clenched his jaw and shoved off the frame, walking a short distance and turning away from Clint as he continued on.

"I know you and Pa had your differences. But the man was our father and now he's dead and gone. Show him some respect."

Bo huffed, thinking about the words his brother had just said. Respect? Respect was earned. Asa did his best to do the exact opposite of earning his youngest son's respect and he sure as hell never seemed to want it to begin with. Asa could have cared less if Bo respected him and Bo knew Asa sure never respected him. "Why should I show Asa Buchanan any respect?" Bo turned to face Clint with angry tears gathering in his eyes and replied, "He never showed me any."

"Of course, Pa respected you."

"How do you figure that?" He asked bitterly. "Huh? All he ever tried to do was show me up. First women. He'd always try to go after all of'em, just to show that...to prove that he could take'em. Then when that got old, all of a sudden, it became my jobs!" Bo got louder, the hurt and frustration of his relationship with his father burning up from his insides out. He ranted through the list of jobs that he'd had...all of which Asa had never given his credit for doing a good job at. His whole life Asa had treated all of them with contempt or disappointment, like Bo just couldn't measure up no matter what he did!

"That is so far from the truth." Clint argued.

Another swallow, more anger as Bo walked back into the stables. "Don't make him out to be a saint just because he's dead!"

"And don't you make him out to be the devil!"

"He mocked everything I tried to do!" Bo yelled. "Everything! I became the commissioner of police, so what did he do? He made it his mission in life to break the law just as many times as he possibly could." This was probably one of the things that hurt the most. He loved his job...he loved this job more than any other he'd ever had. He was proud of what he did and all he'd wanted was for Asa...his Pa...to be proud of him to! Why couldn't he look at his own flesh and blood, see that he was trying to make a better place in this world the best way he knew how and be proud of him for that? Why?! Bo poured out his anger about it to Clint. Before long he was shouting, and Clint shouted back, until Bo had Clint pushed against a wall. "I love that job and he laughed at it!" He growled through clenched teeth, slurring. "He laughed at it all the time and you wanna know why?! He was embarrassed by it!"

"That's bull."

Bo scoffed in disgust at Clint's denial.

"And you..." Clint went on earnestly, "You gotta know that after all these years, you've gotta see that. There's a reason Pa was so hard on you. It's because he was jealous."

Disbelief and confusion mixed with the anger on Bo's face, the stench of bourbon strong on his breath as he leaned in toward Clint. "A'what?" he growled.

"Of you." Clint answered, his eyes locking with Bo's. He watched the possibility and shock of it register in Bo's eyes.

"Pa's jealous of me." Bo repeated, still not buying it lock, stock and barrel. He laughed, walking a distance and shaking his finger at Clint. No way Asa had acted that way because he was jealous of him. "You're drunk...yes, Clint, you're drunk!" He bellowed. "You're drunker'n me."

"The reason Pa went after you the way that he did was to prove that he could beat you." Clint argued. "But he couldn't." Bo wasn't looking at him anymore, just taking another swallow of liquid pity and Clint had had enough. Bo was going to hear what he had to say whether he wanted to or not because he needed to hear it...and it was high time Bo Buchanan stopped hiding from the truth no matter how much it hurt...on a lot of different counts. He grabbed the front of Bo's jacket, spun him front and shoved him up against the beam behind him. "Listen to me. You...were the only horse Asa Buchanan could never break." He could see it sinking in and kept going. "Bo, he loved you. I think he loved you the most because you took after him, blazed your own trail, just like he did. Difference was...you didn't take any shortcuts like he did, and he hated that! Hated it...and yet he was so proud of it too.

He didn't want to believe it...part of him didn't after all these years, thinking his father had been ashamed...embarrassed by him, but even as that thought entered his mind, the truth in Clint's words were ringing true in his head and in his heart. "Pa was proud...of me?"

"I know he was...because you became the man he'd always wished he could be."

Bo lifted the bottle but Clint stopped him. "He did. He loved you, Bo." Clint took the bottle and laid it on a feed bin, giving Bo some space to process what was going on inside him right then. After a few minutes, Clint spoke again. "You've got to stop running, Bo."

"Running?" Bo questioned. "From what? Pa?"

"From the things that hurt the most." He watched Bo stiffen. "You've got to catch your breath and face'em...all of it. The thing about running little brother, is that you leave behind the good along with the bad."

Bo felt a heavy hand land on his shoulder. "Don't leave behind the good because the bad hurts. It's gonna hurt, that's life...but you face it and you hang on to the good, cause that's what makes life worth livin'." He walked away, but stopped before he left the stables. "You take some time out here, Bo. We'll be at the house when you're ready...your family ...Matthew...Nora." He spoke the last name more quietly, knowing it would be the hardest to hear. "We'll be there when you get back." He finished and left Bo alone.

He'd only gotten a few steps when, not surprised, he ran into Nora.

"Is he alright?" she asked, teary and looking toward the entrance.

"He will be. Come on, Nora. Let's give him some time." He hugged her and then led her back toward the house.

 **~~PHOENIX~~**

He sat, listening to the horses and the quiet in between...wrestling with the emotions and the thoughts; too drunk to stop the assault and too tired to want to stop drinking. If today wasn't hard enough...if what he'd laid at his feet about Pa had't been enough, he had to bring _her_ into this. Why?! Lately, it had been all he could do to keep Nora out of his mind. She was everywhere; at work, at Asa's...in his thoughts, sometimes in his dreams...too often in his dreams. Some nights he dreamed of how things used to be, real memories playing through his dreams like a movie reel. Other nights he'd dream of how things might have been; being there for Matthew's birth, watching Nora grow more and more pregnant, feeling Matthew kick inside her. And some nights his dreams were not dreams at all, but nightmares...Sam making love to his Red; touching her and kissing her...his Red with another man.

He took several more long pulls of the bottle, trying to banish those last thoughts from his mind. He hated that it still happened. He hated that he still hurt. Sure, those were never going to be memories that put a smile on his face, but after all these years he just wanted to be numb to them. He wanted to look at Nora and not...what? Be angry? The anger kept him from going insane sometimes. It beat back the longing...the longing to go home with her at the end of the day; the longing to sit down with a pizza and a movie with her and Matthew, to carry there son up to his bed and tuck him in at night and then walk down the hall to crawl into bed beside her, hold her in the night, feel her warm, soft skin against his as they drifted off to sleep in each others arms after making love. Why?! Why did he still want a woman who'd broken...no, shattered his heart. He didn't want to love Nora! He knew he couldn't hate her, he'd tried and failed. Even being angry at her was more work than he could manage anymore, but he did a darn fine job of putting on the show. He just wanted...he wanted... _to run_. The hell of it was, it was getting harder and harder to run from her instead of to her.

 **~~PHOENIX~~**

"Mom, shouldn't dad be back by now? Can I go find him?" Matthew asked.

Nora looked at Matthew sadly. He'd been through so much today, hurting over his Grandpa and here he was...her beautiful boy, worried about his daddy. She couldn't blame him. She was worried too. It had been hours since they'd left Bo at the stables. She'd thought surely he would have come back to the house by now, but the guests had slowly filtered out and now it was just closest family and friends. They'd had to practically shove Alex out the door, but that was no surprise. Even Dorian had gone home. Nora had watched the door, waiting and hoping Bo would walk through it, but he still hadn't.

"Honey," she replied, brushing her fingers through Matthew's hair. "Your daddy needs some time on his own to mourn Grandpa Asa. He's hurting now too, baby and we know that's okay, right?" Matthew nodded solemnly and she smiled softly at him. "But big boys have it kind of tricky. It's okay for them to be sad and cry, just the same way it is for you, but big boys don't like to let other people see them do it. You're daddy loves you so much, baby, and I know he'd appreciate you being there but I think for tonight it might be best to let him do whatever he needs to do for his daddy. Does that make sense?"

"I guess." Matthew answered. "But somebody's going to make sure he's okay, right?"

Nora pulled him to her, hugging him tightly and kissing his head. "My sweet boy. Yes, somebody will make sure that your daddy is okay. I promise." She gave him one more kiss and then leaned back to smile at him. "Why don't you go in there with your cousins and listen to their stories about Grandpa, hmm?"

"Okay." He didn't look excited about it, but he turned and made his way to the library.

She watched until he was out of sight and then she got her wrap from the closet. As she turned toward the front door, Joey came into the foyer. "Joey, honey, would you do me a big favor?"

"Sure, Nora. What is it?"

"Can you keep an eye on Matthew. He's in the library with everyone, but he's worried about Bo and frankly, so am I."

"Uncle Bo's not back yet?"

"No. I'm going to go check on him. Hopefully convince him to come back now. Keep Matthew occupied until I get back, please. If he's been working on that bottle this whole time..."

"I got it. You want one of us to come with you?" Joey asked.

Nora smiled at him; always so thoughtful. "No, sweetheart, but thanks. If I need any help, I'll come back and get someone."

"Okay."

Nora left Joey headed for the library and Clint in the study, having overheard her plans and wondering if he should go with her. He decided to give them some time and if she wasn't back in ten minutes with Bo, he'd go help her drag him back and upstairs.

There was a definite chill in the air as she made her way across the property and to the stables, the flashlight beam illuminating the way ahead until it finally landed on the sturdy structure. She followed the well worn path toward the entrance and turned off the flashlight as the light from the stables spilled out onto the ground ahead.

She spotted him as soon as she entered, laying propped up against a bale of hay. Asa's hat loosely held in one hand and three quarters of an empty bottle of bourbon in the other. She sighed, watching him for a minute. She knew he was hurting badly. His relationship with Asa had never been easy, but she also knew how much he'd loved the old coot...and how much Asa had loved Bo. She wished like crazy that he would let her help him, but the support or comfort he would allow from her would be polite at best. She knew he appreciated it but the depth he would allow would always be stunted by the armlength with which he kept her anymore. _One more time to chalk up to regrets, Nora._ She thought as she quietly made her way across the floor toward her ex husband.

She knelt beside him and took the hat from his hand, placing it on the bale above his head before she reached across him and did the same with the bottle, finding the cap by some miracle by his knee and screwing it on tight. She took another minute and just watched him sleep, his chest rising and falling with each peaceful breath. It didn't matter how many times she'd done it or how long it had been since the last time she'd had the opportunity; she still could just watch him sleep for hours if given the chance. Many a night, she'd watched Matthew sleeping since they'd learned the truth and realized just how much he looked like Bo in his sleep. How many times had she been amazed that she'd never realized this before they learned that Matthew was Bo's.

A breeze carried through the open space and she shivered, pulling herself from the moment. She needed to try and get him awake and back to the house. His body would not appreciate his current sleeping arrangements, it would only get colder out here and if all that wasn't enough, it broke her already aching heart to think of him sleeping alone in the stables tonight. "Bo." She called softly. He didn't stir. She tried again, a little louder this time and got the same results. Gently, she rubbed his arm and called his name again. This time he snuffled a bit, making her smile, but he settled back again right away. "Bo." She rubbed his arm a little harder. "Come on sleeping beauty, time to wake up."

He rolled toward her and she thought he was going to go back to sleep but then he reached up and took hold of the hand on his arm. In one fluid motion, he scooted down so he was laying more flat and tugged her with him, shocking her with the sudden movement enough but he stunned her motionless when he reached up further and pulled her against him.

"Come to bed, honey, it's cold." He murmered, wrapping his arm around her tightly.

"B...Bo?" She didn't think she could move...didn't really want to move, but he was obviously not aware of what he was doing and they certainly couldn't lay here all night...all night...together, with his arms around her like that and his breath, potent as it was, ghosting across her skin... _Okay Nora, snap out of it and get Bo awake and to the house. Who knows who he thinks is coming to bed and he's not going to be too happy if he wakes up in the morning, hung over, freezing, sore and with you in his arms._ She scolded herself. "Bo." She tried again. "Uh, it's...you need to wake up and, um-"

"Shh, honey. Time to sleep."

How he managed to get his other arm under her head and pull her closer she had no idea, but he did. And then...his lips were on hers and oh, sweet heaven, they were so soft and warm. She couldn't think as his mouth moved over hers, a tender dance etched in time and her memory all too well. Her hand came to his cheek without thought and if she'd wanted to stop the little moan that escaped her lips under his tender ministrations she couldn't have done if her life had depended on it. How long had it been since she'd felt his lips on hers? Forever? And yet, it was as familiar as if it hadn't been more than five minutes ago, making her mind a puddle of mush and lighting a fire in her that ignited in a split second.

And apparently she'd responded more than she'd thought, or somewhere in that hazy, sleep riddled brain of his he'd heard her moan because his lips parted and his tongue teased her bottom lip...and her brain exploded a second later when he breathed, "Red." against her lips. She didn't even have time to collect her thoughts before Bo was kissing her deeply, pulling her and shifting, kissing and _oh my gosh, please don't make me have to stop this..._

But she did have to because...because... _think, Nora, think! There's a reason you have to stop this!_ When he left her mouth and his head dipped, his lips finding 'his spot' on her neck like it was guided by a radar, she remembered exactly why she had to stop this. "Bo...oh my, nghh, Bo, wake up. Please." She pleaded, not entirely sure if it was a plea to stop or not. But it had to be...she put both hands on either side of his face and firmly pulled. "Bo, wake up." She said more forcefully.

Heaven help her, he grinned that grin he got when he was feeling particularly feisty, octopused his arm around her waist and drug her back against him. "Mmm, 'wake enough, honey...promish." He slurred, either from the boubon or sleep, maybe both before he dove back in, kissing her passionately for a second and then retreating back to her neck.

She couldn't do this. She closed her eyes and tilted her head, feeling his cheek on her skin and his lips doing the most amazing things to her neck; her nerves alive and sizzling like they hadn't felt since...since the last time they'd been like this. She gave herself a good ten seconds and then with tears in her eyes, she pushed him off her and sprang to her feet. It was in that instant that her eyes met his, cloudy with the liquor but at least partially aware and she could tell by his eyes that he hadn't _just_ become aware of what was happening between them...at least, he wasn't as out of it as he had been when this had started. She saw confusion in those beautiful blue eyes, uncertainty...longing? And then...regret. _A drunken blunder...he was sobering fast_. She thought.

"Matthew..." She choked back the sob, "Matthew is worried about you and it's getting cold and ...and you need to come to the house, Bo." She stared into his eyes and then turned and ran out of the stables.

She never saw Clint as he backed into the shadows. Didn't see the sad look he was watching her with as she fled up the path. He poked his head around the stable door, catching Bo as he ran his hand across his face and then looked back up at the empty space where Nora had been. He looked like a lost puppy who'd just been kicked. It wasn't the look of a man who'd just made a drunkin' mistake, but that of a man who'd just watched his heart run out the door. _Come on, Bo!_ He silently urged. _Go after her._ He knew his brother. Either Bo was going to get up and go after Nora, get back what was so plainly what he wanted, or he'd stay there and talk himself out of what he felt. He cursed in his head when Bo slumped back against the bale. "Stubborn fool!" Clint muttered too softly to be heard. He turned and disappeared back up the path. Halfway back to the house, he looked skyward. "I've got this, Pa. Don't you worry!"


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks so much to everyone who has left reviews for the previous chapter. A little note (I promise it's little): For the purpose of this fic, I'm taking out the conflict that was happening between Dorian and Vicki at the time. And while I know it probably wouldn't happen this way, I'm dealing with Lindsey and Bo's court appointedness situation with convenience for the sake of my sanity. That is all.

~~PHOENIX~~

Clint entered the house a man on a mission. The first man he saw was the first he needed to see; like it was ordained.

"Nigel, just the man I needed."

"Glad to be of service, sir."

Clint smiled at him, the sadness in Nigel's eyes spoke of the longness and heartache of the day. In many ways, Nigel was just as much a part of the Buchanan family as anyone else still at the mansion. "Nigel, do you happen to know where Matthew and Nora are?"

"Yes, sir. Mrs. Buchanan retired upstairs...she looked rather-" he hesitated, searnching for the right word.

"I know. Matthew?" Clint asked gently, once again admiring Nigel's care and discretion.

"Also retired for the night. Mr. Kevin took him upstairs after he fell asleep in the library, sir."

"Excellent! Nigel, I need to ask you for one more favor."

"Anything, sir."

"I need you to be a lookout."

"A lookout, Mr. Buchanan?" Nigel asked, his facial expression eliciting a smile from Clint.

"For Matthew, Nora or Bo." He explained further. "I need to have a family meeting and it would be...beneficial for them not to be a part of this right now."

"I see. I'll keep my eyes peeled as they say, sir. Should any of them make an appearence shall I head them off at the pass or give a hearty Ca Caw?"

Clint smirked. "I trust your judgement, Nigel."

"Thank you, sir. I am equal to the task."

"I knew you would be."

~~PHOENIX~~

Clint entered the library and swiftly shut the door behind him. "Family meeting."

Max, who'd been sitting by Renee', smiled and leaned to give her a kiss on the cheek. "I'll stop by tomorroow before I head out."

"Actually, Max," Clint spoke up, "if you wouldn't mind staying?"

Surprise colored his eyes, but Max nodded and settled back into the couch.

"What's going on, dad?" Natalie asked, voicing the question on everyone's mind.

"I have a plan and I need all of your help." he answered.

"What's the matter, Clint?" Vicki asked when he didn't immediately follow up his statement with any further explanantion.

"It's time to right something that's been wrong for far too long and its going to take the whole family to pull it off. Can I count on all of you?" He knew that once he revealed his mission, that he would be met with reluctance so he was hoping to get some committed answers before he went into a full explanantion.

Joey, Jessica and Kevin exchanged looks. Kevin, being the eldest was the first to speak up. "Want to share a little more detail with us, because this feels a little...blind."

"It is blind, Kevin." Clint responded simply. "Blind faith and loyalty to family. Now, there are a few members of our family in trouble, and like true Buchanans, they're too stubborn to see it let alone fo anything to fix it. So, I'm asking again...can I count on my family to help me or not?"

Silence permeated the room as they looked at one another. Cord, closest to Clint, stood up and laid his hand on his father's shoulder. "Whatever it is, I'm with you." He looked at his brothers and sisters, no question in his eyes as to what he was conveying to them. When it came to family, we stick together.

Kevin shrugged, "Alright. Whatever it is, I'll help." He nudged Jess.

"Ah...me too." She was quickly, if not hesitantly followed by Natalie and Joey in agreement.

Clint's eyes roamed the remaining holdouts and figured this was as good as he was going to get for the time being. So he gave up the ghost, so to speak. "Nora and Bo...we're getting them back together."

Groans chorused throughout the room, several from his children who'd already agreed. Sarah was his angel in that moment as she declared, "I'm so in!"

"Clint-" Vicki began, halting when Clint held up his hand.

"They belong together and if all of you think about it, deep down you know it too!" He grumbled heatedly.

"Meddling never ends well, Clint. You know that." Vicki stated.

"When it's wrong, yes, I agree. This isn't, but they need a push." He argued. When everyone, save Sarah and Max, looked less than convinced, he went on speaking to everyone in the room. "When have you ever seen Bo or Nora as happy as when they were together?"

Even if most of them thought this was a bad idea, no one could find an answer for a time they could remember that would prove him wrong. The simple truth was that Bo and Nora had been blissfully happy together...until it all fell apart.

"Dad," Joey began tentatively. "We all remember how happy they were together, but maybe...just because people are meant to be together for a time, doesn't always mean they're meant to be together for always. Things fell apart for a reason."

"Yes, and we all know that reason...but what if..." Clint was searching for the perfect words to convince everyone.

"Didn't Asa try this, like a million times and they always fought him on it? Why do you think it would be any different now, dad?" Natalie asked.

"Yes, but he tried it on his own. We'll do this together! We're always stronger together."

"Darling, why now?" Renee' asked. "Is this about trying to give Asa his wish?"

"Partly." Clint admitted, garnering more groans. "But it's more than that! They still feel something for each other and it's not just friendship and a parents bond!" He looked around. "I've seen it, the last few months" He went on, "Little things that I dismissed, but now when I put it all together and know what I know tonight...it's still there, under the surface but they need help getting out of their own way and by heaven if I have to do this myself, if none of the rest of you see it, then I will!"

"The other week, I was at the diner and Bo was having lunch with John. Nora and one of her assistants came in, sat at the counter. I don't think they even saw Bo and John, but from the looks of it Bo sure saw them and when this young guy started hitting on Nora, he didn't seem to like it very much." Nash shrugged. He didn't have any idea what Bo and Nora had been like together, but he knew a jealous man when he saw one.

"They did have magic together." Max smiled, thinking how Luna would love this. "There's more to this than a gut feeling and some here and there moments, Clint. You said something about knowing what you know tonight. What does that mean?"

"It means..." Clint took a deep breath knowing that Bo would skin him alive for this if he found out before the plan was successful...and Nora would boil him after. "I saw them kissing earlier, in the stables. Believe me, because I know what you're all thinking; Pa just died, they're grieving and maybe it got away from them, but-"

"Bo was drinking when he walked out of here and he had a full bottle of bourbon." Joey pointed out.

"And I have no doubt that it was a contributing factor, son, but I know my little brother. That just let him get loosened up enough to do what he hasn't had the guts to do without it."

"What happened after or-"

"Well, Nora knew he'd been drinking so she stopped him before things went to far and then she hightailed it out of there like she was on fire." Clint frowned, thinking of how both of them had looked devestated. "Listen, I know how all of this sounds but if any one of you had been there; seen them...Nora looked like her heart was gettin' ripped in two when she made him stop and when she lit out of there, Bo looked like he'd lost his best friend all over again. Ya just don't look the way the two of them did if there's nothing left!" He pleaded.

Again, silence enveloped the room.

"May I assume that the invitation extends to me, since I was asked to stay?" Max inquired.

"Depends." Clint replied, a half grin on his face.

"On?"

"Whether you're helpin' or not."

Max smiled broadly. "I'm in."

"Then you're invited." Clint looked at his kids and grand-daughter. "You six gonna back out on me, or not?"

"Oh, I'm totally in!" Sarah declared happily. "Those two have serious chemistry and someone needs to do something about it."

"That's my girl!" Clint smiled.

"God help us if this blows up in our faces, but I'm in too." Cord said.

One by one, Kevin, Joey, Jess and Natalie recommitted. Clint looked to Renee'.

"Call me crazy but, I've always hated that those two couldn't hang on to what they had. And," she gave a watery smile, "It would make Asa so happy." She looked over to Vicki, "I'll help any way I can. Vicki?"

"For the record, I think this is a very risky venture...but Nora is one of my dearest friend's and I have always loved Bo-"

"Excellent!" Clint crowed.

"However!" Vicki interjected, "If it becomes clear that either Bo or Nora are suffering unnecessarily from anything we do-"

"Absolutely, Vicki." Clint stopped her, knowing exactly what she was going to say and agreeing with her.

"Very well." She conceded. "I do believe it would be ill advised for Matthew to know what is going on. That little boy has always wanted his parents to get back together and he has just lost his grandfather, I do not want to get Matthew's hopes up."

"And I totally agree with you on that as well, Vicki." Clint smiled warmly.

"So, then, what's the plan, dad?" Jessica asked.

Clint's already broad smile broadened. "A week's family retreat to the ranch...and then we just...remind them."

"From your lips to God's ears." Vicki sighed.

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

I realize this is unrealistic, but it's either make events happen that wouldn't in real life of cut them out of the storyline entirely...so unrealistic it is. Thank you to every one of you who have read and reviewed.

 **And for anyone interested, I have started a crossover fic for OLTL/CSI/NCIS. It can be found at the crossover section under CSI and NCIS (you can't do three) or by going to my FF page. It's titled Without You.**

 **~~PHOENIX~~**

"Wow." Clint managed to add just a little more disappointment to his voice and facial expression than was totally warranted, though it felt very much warranted. "Lindsey and Trueman's murder case, that's your excuse?"

He did not want to be having this conversation. His head hurt. His own fault, he reminded himself. He'd not gotten any more sleep. Again, his own fault, His guilt level was through the roof already, between Asa's death, not being more present for Matthew the other day...and that scene in the stables with Nora. _Kissing her...you kissed your ex-wife without her permission and then didn't even have the guts to go after her to apologize._ He thought. _But then, wouldn't apologizing for something he wasn't really sorry for, be just as wrong_ , whispered that little voice in his head that he'd been trying desperately to ignore the last several months. So he wasn't sorry for kissing Nora, but he was remorseful for obviously hurting her in doing so. _She wasn't hurt by the kiss. She was hurt that she thought you didn't really want it to happen, especially because you know she did_.

"Now you're gonna give me the silent treatment?" Clint interrupted the thought rolling around in his hungover brain.

He shook himself out of it, "No, that's not-I was thinking, something you obviously haven't done with this hairbrained idea of yours." He bit back. "We have jobs, Clint. Responsibilities. We can't just pick up at a moments notice and fly off to hold hands at the ranch."

"Really. That's funny, little brother, since that's just what the rest of your family is doing. Key word there is family, Bo. We just lost, Pa and you think its crazy to go somewhere that meant the world to him, our family home, to spend time together as a family and help each other grieve the loss and get through this? No, nobody planned this ahead of time. Nobody planned to lose Asa out of the blue! But it happened and we're getting through this, together...at least the rest of us are." Clint narrowed his eyes at Bo. "When did you get your priorities so comepletly screwed up?!"

"Excuse me?!"

"You heard me. I understand we all have jobs and responsibilities. Every, single one of us does. But when did you get so full of yourself that you decided no one else can do the job or handle the responsibility for even a week as well as you can. John McBain is more than capable. And if he's not then him being your lead detective and right hand man might need a little reevaluation. Lindsey is a big girl who has managed to get herself in and out of trouble from the moment she set foot in this town and you darn well know it. If she needs to cool her heels in a jail cell for a week instead of curled under some soft blankets at your house, then maybe it would be a good wake up call for her. But if you think that insisting on being front and center to spearhead Spencer Trueman's murder case for a week and babysitting Lindsey is a higher priority than helping your son and your family mourn and heal from a huge loss in their lives, then by all means Bo, don't compromise on your values!"

"Clint! That's not fair, and you know it."

Neither of them had heard Nora come down the stairs, but no one could deny the commanding presence she presented, arms crossed and glaring at the eldest living Buchanan male.

Bo's guilt ratcheted up another notch. He'd hurt her last night and he knew it, yet here she stood, practically toe to toe with Clint, defending him. But that, he knew, was Nora.

"Family is everything to Bo and you know that!" She went on. "He's the Commissioner of police and sometimes that means he has to put other things ahead of his own needs and desires. You think I can just bail on my position at a moments notice as well?"

Before anyone else had the opportunity to expound on their varying opinions, a small voice behind them stopped all three.

"Grandpa was going to take me to the ranch in a couple months." Matthew said sadly. "Does this mean I can't go with everybody if you and dad can't go?"

Bo and Nora exchanged depondent looks before focusing on Matthew.

"Honey..." Nora began, bending at the knees to look her son in the eyes.

"No, buddy." Bo cut in. "You want to go to the ranch with everybody this week?"

Matthew nodded. Bo went to him and pulled his son into his embrace, sighing and thinking how complicated this was all going to be. "Then I've got some phone calls to make and some packing to do."

"Bo?"

He looked the mother of his son in the eyes, his heart thudding in his chest at the duel emotions he caught flit through them; an underlying hurt, surely left over from last night quickly morphed into one of caring and pride. "Bo?"

"Think you can turn things over to the minions for a week, Madame District Attorney?"

She nodded. "I'll shuffle some things around."

 _~~PHOENIX~~_

She was surprised to find his office door open when she strolled through the main hub of the LPD. She sidled up to his doorframe and leaned against it, watching quietly as he worked. "I figured you'd have your door closed in full battle mode." She finally spoke, breaking into his concentration.

"And I assumed you'd be knew deep in hand written instructions for the assistants right about now." He jostled back, setting his pen aside.

"You're a good man and an even better father, Bo Buchanan."

Guilt twisted his gut. _Yeah, such a good man_ , he thought as that kiss flashed through his mind again. He decide to switch to a safer topic. "Lindsey is going to be in Michael and Marcie McBain's care for the next week."

"Michael and Marcie! Bo, are they equipped for that-"

"With supervision from John and an ankle bracelot for Lindsey. She'll be thrilled." he finished, sarcasm dripping from his last statement."

With no love lost between the two women, Nora replied with a dry, "Well, if she could learn to keep her nose clean she wouldn't need to be babysat or wear such charming jewelery."

Both of them fell silent, seperately searching for something to fill it.

 _Say something. Tell her...what?_ I'm sorry still wasn't accurate. Try as he might, and he had been trying; all night last night and all day today, but he couldn't manage it. He wasn't sorry for kissing her. He was sorry he hadn't had the guts to do it when he was stone cold sober. He was sorry he hadn't done it weeks ago because it sure as heck wasn't like he hadn't been thinking about it.

 _Does he even remember that he kissed me last night? Maybe he was more drunk than I thought and he doesn't even remember doing it. Or maybe he does and he regrets it so much that he can't even bring it up._ Nervous, Nora subconciously licked her lips.

Bo looked up just in time to see Nora's tongue glide across her lips and his heart halted inside his chest, his eyes glued to that action. Watching him, watching her, she saw where his eyes were and she knew that look that flashed in his baby blues. He remembered.

Realizing what he was doing, Bo snapped himself out of it and cleared his throat, grabbing the file he'd been signing. "I'd better get back to it or I'll be here all night. Gotta pack."

"Yeah." She whispered, sadness seeping in around her thudding heart. "I'm heading home to get us packed. I'll see you tomorrow, I guess."

He looked at her then. Her eyes, those warm, beautiful eyes...And all he wanted to do was close the door behind her, take her in his arms and kiss her again...and again...and again. "Be safe driving home." he said quietly. She nodded and then she was gone.

 _~~PHOENIX~~_

It was bad timing, what with work and his warring feelings about Nora, but as Bo's eyes traveled over the interior of the BE jet, watching his family talking and laughing together, a warmth spread through him. It had been a very long time since they'd all been together like this...even longer since they'd all been at the Ranch. Matthew's laugh caught his attention and he watched quietly. It would be Matthew's first trip out there...come to think of it, it would be Nash, Bree's and Max's as well. His chest tightened a little, knowing that Asa would have loved this.

He was broken out of his moment by a heavy slap on his back.

"Howdy, Pard." Max grinned stupidly at him and sat down in the empty seat across. He shrugged at the look he was getting from his old friend. "What? I'm immersing myself in the culture." He chuckled.

"We going back in time then too...Pard?"

"Hey, Bo...we haven't really had much time to talk and I know we've had our differences from time to time but-"

Bo waved his hand. "Doesn't matter, Max. Differences or no, you're my friend and you always will be." He smiled sincerely. It was the truth.

Max smiled back and nodded. "Just the same, I'm sorry about Asa. Good or bad, and we had both," Max laughed recalling, "He was a force to be reckoned with. You may not believe this, Bo, but I'm gonna miss that old coot." By the time he got the last of that sentence out, his words were softer and hinted at the deep emotion he struggled to keep hold of.

"I know, Max." Bo replied.

"And," Max took a deep breath, "While we're doing this big emotional thing, I want to apologize to you."

Bo looked quizzically at Max. What did Max have to apologize to him about?

"Gabrielle."

Bo shook his head but Max pushed on.

"No, Bo, I should have made the effort to talk to you when it happened, but-"

"Max, I understand." Bo really didn't want to have this conversation; for so many reasons. It still hurt; not like it had in the beginning. He was healing, but it was still tough to talk about. He had loved Gabrielle very much. Another reason could be summed up in another name...Nora. Nora had gotten him through Gabrielle's death. If it hadn't been for her friendship...she had refused to allow him to sink into himself. She'd show up at his doorstep with dinner; sometimes by herself and sometimes with Matthew or she'd drag him out of work at a decent hour and insist that he come home with her to spend time with Matthew. She wouldn't allow him to hide from the pain, even when he was angry at her for doing it, she made him face it so he could start to heal...really heal and she made sure he knew that while she couldn't take it for him, that he was never alone with it.

And as he'd started coming out the other side of the pain...as his world lightened again, he saw her. He began to see Nora as he'd once seen her and it had floored him like you wouldn't believe. Slowly, in his head but more importantly, and to his great shock...and fright in many ways, in his heart, she became his Red again. She just didn't know that and he hadn't had the guts to tell her; he didn't know if he ever would.

So, no...he really didn't want to have this conversation.

"Would ya let me apologize?! Sheesh." He'd said that a little louder than he'd intended, both he and Bo looking to the others to see if it had drawn any attention. No one else seemed to have heard them. "Sorry." Max grimaced. "All I wanted to say," he paused a second to make sure Bo wasn't going to cut him off again and then continued when the other man remained silent. "Not trying to compare the two, but I know what it was like to be in love with...to be with Gabrielle and I'm sorry I didn't try to reach out more to you then Bo. Trying to come to grips with it myself, explaining what was going on to the twins...all it brought back with Al. I guess I didn't know what to say and I'm sorry, Bo."

"Like I told you, I understand, Max. Honestly. No hard feelings,alright?" He held his hand out, smiling when Max gripped it tightly.

"Right."

 _~~PHOENIX~~_

Clint looked over as Vicki joined him on the leather couch. "How is she?" He asked, looking down at the phone Vicki was holding between her hands.

"She sounds miserable; very congested and her throat sounds scratchy, but she went to get checked out and has antibiotics so it's just a matter of rest, fluids and letting the medicine do its job. She agreed to go to Asa's so that Nigel can look after her." She smiled sadly at Clint, lowering her voice she told him, "She asked me to tell you again how sorry she is. She's worried she's letting you down with the mission."

"It's hardly her fault she got sick." Clint replied.

"I know that and I know you know that, but Natalie still feels like she's let you down. Apparently your family speech made quite the impact on her."

"I'll call her later and make sure she understands that I'm not disappointed in her in the least."

"Thank you, Clint."

This time, the smile she gave him reflected more relief and gratitude than worry. He swung his arm across her shoulders and pulled her closer to his side for a one armed hug. "She'll be fine. Nigel will take excellent care of her."

"I know." Vicki sighed, looking over at Jessica, Kevin and Joey. "No matter how old they get, where they are or even if they have babies of their own...you just never stop."

He chuckled a little. "I know." He said tenderly. "You always have been and you always will be one amazing mother."

It drew her eyes back to his and she was a little caught off guard by the fierce tenderness she saw shining back at her. His intense gaze left a fluttering in her stomach but she managed to smile at him, hoping it didn't look as sheepish as it felt. "Hope-hopefully no one else will get sick on the trip."

"Maybe we should just slip some Vitamin C in their drinks to be on the safe side." He said with a wink as he stood and went to the mini bar.

Vicki caught herself watching him walk away and shook herself out of it. What on earth had that been?

~~PHOENIX~~

Joey started a game of Charades and soon had the entire family involved.

"Circle!" Matthew guessed.

Bo made the gesture again.

"Round?" Kevin supplied.

Bo smiled and tapped his nose, letting them know Kevin had guessed correctly. Bo then held up one finger.

"First word?" Jess asked, confused. They thought 'round' was the first word.

"Wasn't 'round' the first word?" Renee' voiced the question everyone was thinking.

Bo shook his head.

Joey and Kevin looked at each other and then back at Bo. "Then what was 'round' ?"

Exasperated, Bo blurted, "A clue to the first word!"

"You can't talk!" Max, Nora, Matthew and Clint yelled at the same time, bursting into laughter.

Bo slapped his hand to his forehead.

"Okay. Okay." Nora got out through the giggles. "Start over."

"With a new title?" He asked, reaching for the hat with the subjects in it.

"No! No, just start over with the one you have but no more talking." She laughed. His expression was too funny. He looked like he'd been through a war already and they hadn't even guessed the first word yet."

Bo made the circle again and everyone yelled, "Round!" He narrowed his eyes at his family and moved on.

"Ah...bubbles! Blowing bubbles!" Renee' guessed excitedly. Bo shook his head.

"Eating?" Nora asked.

His eyes lit up and he waved his hands around in a "more" fashion.

"Eating...eating..." Nora watched as Bo repeated the gestures; motioning like he was dropping something into his mouth. Now he was fanning himself? Dropping something into his mouth? "Grapes!"

Bo sat up and gave her a big beaming grin, tapping his nose and pointing at her.

"Okay. Grapes." Nash repeated. "Oh! The Grapes of Wrath!"

"Two words, honey." Jessica reminded him.

He grinned and shrugged. "Got a little excited."

"Grapes really do do it for you, huh bro?" Joey teased.

Bo cleared his throat, making them all chuckle at his crossed arms and tapping foot. The mood was light and fun-loving. Just what they all needed.

"Come on, dad. What's the second word?!" Matthew called out, standing between Nora's knees.

Bo held up two fingers and then hunched over a bit, bending at the knees and holding his arms, curved and away from his sides. His legs were spread apart much further than usual and he began to lumber toward them, arms swaying comically. He suddenly beat on his chest and lurched at Matthew, yanking him out of Nora's arms and throwing him over his shoulder, tickling behind Matthew's knees as Matthew screamed and laughed.

"Ape!" Jessica suddenly yelled. Her face almost looked shocked. "Grape Ape!"

Bo set Matthew down, breathing heavy, but with a wide smile. "That's it, Jess."

"I loved that cartoon when I was little." She smiled, hugging Bree to her.

It was Jess' turn and the hat was passed to her. As Matthew made his way back to Nora, Bo noticed that her eyes looked distant, and her neck was flushed. He wondered what she was thinking about that had her looking like that. If only he'd known that it was a memory from years past...of a different situation in which he'd done a primitive animal impersonation...caveman. Ape. Close enough. It was how that impersonation had ended that had her heart beating madly and her blood racing through her veins.

TBC...


End file.
